Separately the stars of some of this century’s laziest efforts, together Sandler and Aniston combine for a perfect storm of apathy and tedium for a redo of the 1969 film Cactus Flower — starring Walter Matthau, Ingrid Bergman, and Goldie Hawn — and a thinly-veiled excuse for a Hawaiian vacation.
Neither has done anything particularly funny since the finale of “Friends” in 2004 — even that series’ merits remain up for debate — and this schlock is no exception. The movie has exactly one more chuckle to offer than a trip to the dentist.
Instead, Sandler plays a plastic surgeon — which becomes ironically amusing when the artificially “enhanced” reality star Heidi Montag and the heavily Botoxed Nicole Kidman surface unexpectedly — and Aniston is his divorced, single mother assistant, Katherine.
On the prowl with his usual faux-married routine, Sandler’s Danny meets and falls for Palmer, a tanned beauty just dumb enough to “go with it.” Swimsuit model-turned-actress Brooklyn Decker poses as the blond-haired, blue-eyed imbecile who is never on screen without her cleavage on full display. Not that gratuitous shots of breasts are necessarily a negative, but that’s about all Decker has to offer and the performance is easily replicated by flipping through a Victoria’s Secret catalog. But if Danny wants to keep this amiable idiot on the hook, he’ll need to pretend (read: lie) his way through a fake divorce from Katherine.
Of course, the farce eventually escalates to include Katherine’s two children, Danny’s oversexed cousin (Nick Swardson) in an inexplicable disguise, two cringe-worthy accents, and a forced trip to Hawaii in a wacky, elaborate ruse to each gain what each selfishly desires. 
The rest is a slog through the checklist of Sandler staples like scatological humor, the obligatory nut shot, minor cameos for all his personal buddies (except for poor Rob Schneider), misogyny, and typical gay panic. But what lowers this movie beneath even the stars’ usual predictable, unfunny fare is how unnecessarily cruel the characters are to one another in this tiring, self-centered web of deception and exploitation. Just go away from it.
